Return To Transylvania
by HeadlessDylan
Summary: Farley's plan to enslave Denton has worked. All they need to do now is cover it up so it seems like a scripted part of the show scripted part of the show. But before that can happen, Riff Raff and Magenta appear, demanding a precious cargo that they need to return to Transylvania. That cargo is none other than Marriage Maze host, Bert Schnick.
1. Chapter 1

Neely and her camera crew raced through the halls of the DentonVale set, catching all the Denton audience regulars on camera. They were all swaying side to side singing the DTV anthom in perfect sync with eachother. Farley's plan had worked. He had enslaved almost the entire population of Denton, Ohio in a mere few minutes. Now he stood on the desk in Cosmo and Nation's office, watching as everyone threw the papers and forms out of the draws and around the room. He stepped down from the desk and over to Cosmo who was talking to Bert.

"Both of you come with me. Cosmo, bring your sister aswell." Cosmo and Bert followed Farley out of the office, alerting Nation on the way out.  
"What's this for Farley?" Nation asked as they walked into the dining room.

"I just wanted to say congratulations to you three specially. I couldn't of done this without your help." He smirked.

"Not that we had any choice in the matter." Cosmo mumbled. Nation elbowed him in the stomach but Farley didn't seem to notice.

"What now?" Bert asked, confused.

"We carry on as normal. We need to calm things down a little around here." Farley explained. He then turned to Cosmo and Nation.

"What?" Nation asked as she caught Farley's gaze.

"I need you to pump knockout gas through the vents in the halls. Knock out the audience and put them back in their seats."

"It will be done." Nation walked off. Cosmo followed her.

"Cigar Bert?" Farley asked.

"No thank you. We don't smoke where I come from." Bert laughed and waved his hand.

"Suit yourself." Farley lit his cigar "Say, where do you come from anyway?"

"Ermm... Germany..." Bert smiled slightly as he fumbled with his words.

A couple of miles away, in Denton Cemetery, a bright light shone. As it disintegrated, two figures stood there. They were wearing gold and black space looking costumes with an electric bolt on it. One of the figures stepped away from the other.  
"Were here, my illustrious sister. He said. The other stepped beside him.

"Denton, Ohio, Earth." She laughed "What a pitiful place. Are you sure he's here?"

"I am sure. The tracking unit rarely gets locations wrong." The male figure turned towards the female one. They both joined hands and put them up, towards the sky before laughing manically.

"We shall find Bert N Schnick."

* * *

 **Hey guys! I haven't been on in ages! But I'm back!**

 **For those of you waiting for m FNAF fanfics you might be disappointed to know that I'm kinda getting bored of FNAF. Instead ROCKY HORROR AND SHOCK TREATMENT HAVE TAKEN OVER MY LIFE! So I might return to them, but probably not. Sorry.**

 **But what did you guys think of the start of this one? What's going to happen next time? Well, you'll just have to wait! But I will hopefully be updating a lot over these next couple of weeks!**

 **Anyway...**

 **See Yaz!**

 **All haters will be used to make Human Pie. (Just like Eddie ;) )**


	2. Chapter 2

After the party had cleared up and all of the audiencehad been moved back into their seats, the cast and crew started to go to bed. Nation climbed under the silk sheets and snubbled next to Cosmo.

"Time for sleep, dear brother. We have a busy day tomorrow." Nation kissed him on the cheek and rested her head on his chest.

"Nation, I have been thinking about something recently." Cosmo looked down a her.

"What is it?" She mumbled as she shifted a bit.

"I was thinking... that maybe... we could... have a child." He said slowly, not sure of what her reaction would be. She looked up at him. He prepared for the worst.

"Oh Cosmo. I would love to have a baby aswell!" Nation smiled sweetly at him. Cosmo smiled too.

"Exalent." Cosmo smiled as he rested his head on Nation's. In Laura and Ricky's room, they started to get into bed aswell. Ricky read a magazine as Laura did her nails. Suddenly the phone rang. Laura picked it up.

"Hello?" She said down the phone.

"Hey Laura its me." A voice said.

"Oh hey. Laura smiled "How are you?"

"Im still not doing so well. Im still upset over... you know."

"That was seven years ago. You need to move on." Laura sighed.

"I know, I know." The voice said, sadly "I just really miss her."

"Well listen. Why don't you come down here for a while?" Laura smiled.

"That would be great!" The voice suddenly got happier "Ill be there in a week."

"Ok see ya." She put the phone down.

"Who was that, sweetheart?" Ricky asked.

"Just my brother. He's going to stay with us for a while." Laura replied as she got back to doing her nails.

"Is he still upset about your sister?" Ricky asked, concerned.

"Yeah." Laura blew on her nails "Yeah he is."

Riff Raff stepped out into the open street. Magenta followed closely behind. Suddenly, Riff's tranciver started to beep. He looked at it and pressed a button.

"General Riff Raff." The caller was an elderly lady. Her voice was raspy but very posh.

"Yes your majesty?" Riff Raff asked, awaiting his orders.

"Tell me, have you found Bert yet?" She demanded.

"No, your majesty, for we have only just arrived." Riff explained. He hoped the Queen would understand.

"Very well." The Queen said "Transmit to me when you find him."

"Yes your majesty." He obayed as he ended the transmission. Magenta walked over to him.

"What now?" She asked, for she didn't have the tracker. Riff held the tracker up high.

"It says he's fourty three miles west from here." He inquired "Lets go."

The next day, everyone got up like usual. Nation tied her red, curley hair back whilst Cosmo got dressed into his normal, green DentonVale costume.

"Good morning my dear." He smiled as he embraced her.

"Good morning" She smiled back at him.

"Do you have the scripts for the next episode?" He asked softly. Nation pulled open a draw and pulled two files out. She handed one to Cosmo.

"Thank you." he replied "Do you know what show is on first?"

"Marriage Maze I think." Nation said as she walked out of the room. On the set of Marriage Maze, Bert was allready on air.

"Welcome everyone! Welcome to Marriage Maze!" He shouted at the camera as the audience cheered. Up in Farley's office, Farley looked down on the once brainwashed audience. The phone rang.

"Shoot." He demanded as he picked it up.

"Boss, there are some crazy people trying to get into the studio. They've got some kind of weaponry! I think.. AAAGH!" The voice screamed at the end as a deafening blast was heard. Farley put the phone down and looked at the studio door as it burst open. The audience screamed in fear, like they had when Brad burst into Dream Factory.

"Bert Schnick." Riff Raff said as he advanced towards Bert "Or should I say Bert N Schnick? Either way, your coming with us!"

"No please!" Bert begged "Why do I have to go back?"

"Because, dear Bert, you shall be the new ruler of Transexual." Magenta smirked.

* * *

 **Well that was a quick upload! But I said in the last chapter that I would be updating this a lot.**

 **Things are starting to go DOWN IN DENTON! Riff Raff and Magenta want Bert to go back to Transylvania! But what will he say? What will Nation, Cosmo and Farley do?**

 **Also I'm not really going to have Laura and Ricky in this too much because their gonna be in the sequel to this fanfiction.**

 **See Yaz!**

 **All haters will be used to make Human Pie.**


	3. Chapter 3

"What?" Bert asked, raising an eybrow.

"As if you dont know." Riff Raff scoffed.

"Know what?" Bert brought his hands up to his face to move his hair out of his eyes.

"Seven years ago your brother, Frank N Furter, was executed." Magenta smiled at him. Bert gasped in shock.

"On what charges was he executed?"

"He murdured earthlings and partook in science that should never be tested." Riff gestured towards Magenta "We were his servants but as you know I am also a General. I had the authority to execute him."

"What if I refuse to come back with you?" Bert suddenly got braver. Riff Raff smirked, evily.

"Then we will burn down this wretched place and kill everyone here."

"DENTON IS NOT WRETCHED!" A voice suddenly was heard from the audience. Riff's smile fell. He brandished his laser and shot the audience member who had shouted it. Farley saw this from his office. He rushed out of the booth and down the spiral steps. Nation and Cosmo walked over to Bert's side. Farley arrived shortley after.

"Bert is going nowhere!" Farley shouted in an authorative tone. He pointed his finger at Riff Raff and Magenta. Riff moved his laser so that it was pointing towards him. Farley immidiatly stepped down and cowered behind Cosmo.

"Coward." Nation sighed.

"I suggest you leave." Cosmo pointed towards the door. Magenta and Riff Raff smirked.

"What are you primitive earthlings going to do?" Magenta laughed. It was Cosmo's time to smirk now.

"Vance!" He shouted into the studio. All of a sudden, a gunshot was heard. The audience started running out of their seats and out of the studio. The shot had come from Vance's gun. Riff Raff tried to shoot at him but the audience were pushing past him and Magenta, making him unable to get a clear shot. Then, an audience member came running towards him. He moved out of the way but tripped, dropping the gun as he tumbled to the floor. The gun slid over to Cosmo. When all of the audience had ran off, Riff Raff stood up.

"Dont move." Cosmo ordered as he held the Transylvanian's at gunpoint.

"You cant possibly know how to use that." Magenta said bitterly. Bert walked over to Cosmo.

"You press that button on the left side to release the safety and the switch on the right is for the power of the laser." he explained "Setting Z is just to injur people, setting Y is to kill them and setting X is to disintigrate them."

"Well, now I know how to use it." Cosmo laughed as he switched the power to Y.

"Wait!" Riff Raff shouted.

"What." Cosmo lowered the weapon a bit.

"If you kill us, Transylvania will declare war on your planet!" Riff Raff explained. Cosmo hesitated to shoot.

"Shoot them!" Farley screamed. Nation turned towards him.

"They are more technilogicaly advanced than us. It wouldnt be a war, it would be an extermination." Nation sighed in defeat.

"Guys, Where did they go" Vance questioned as he walked over. Everyone else looked over to where Magenta and Riff raff once stood. All there was now was some blue smoke.

"They transported away!" Bert panicked.

"What now?" Farley asked.

"Ihave a plan, but it involves going to Transsexual." Bert explained.

"What is it Bert." Cosmo asked, curiously.

"We are going to go and get my brothers body and bring him back to life!"


	4. Chapter 4

Bert turned his room upside down whilst looking for the teleporter.

"AHA!" He shouted triumphently as he found it. He ran back through the DentonVale halls and back to Cosmo and Nation.

"Did you find it?" Nation asked. Bert nodded and placed it in Cosmo's hand.

"Where will his body be?" Cosmo asked before pressing the button on the teleporter.

"He will probably be in the Royal Cemetary on Transgender." Bert told them "But it will be crawling with guards!"

"Thats why we have this." Cosmo smiled as he held up the Transylvanian laser. He pressed the teleporter's button, thought about where he and Nation wanted to go and disappeared in a puff of blue smoke.

Riff Raff and Magenta bowed to The Queen.

"Where is Bert?" She asked in her raspy voice.

"We were unable to aquire him, your majesty." Riff Raff informed her.

"And why not?" The Queen asked, a little angrier.

"He has freinds. They were able to outsmart us." Magenta told The Queen without any hesitation.

"Well go back with more men then!" The Queen boomed. Riff Raff and Magenta shared a look and walked away.

Cosmo and Nation arrived at Transgender. They immidiatly made their way over to the Royal Cemetary. Cosmo set the laser to Mode X, disintigration. He shot the two guards outside the toumb and ran inside.

"He's here!" Nation shouted at Cosmo. He immidiatly ran over. The preserved body of Prince Frank N Furter was concealed in a glass container. Cosmo shot the glass. Nation grabbed the body and ran with Cosmo, as the alarms had been set off. Hundreds of guards came running down the halls towards them. Cosmo shot a few but pressed the teleporter's button before they could shoot at him.

"Bert! Were back!" Nation shouted. Bert ran out of the DentonVale set.

"Quickly!" He gestured for them to come over. They followed him into the dining room. The table and chairs had been moved to make way for Frank's machine. Nation put Frank's body into the tank as Bert read off a peice of paper (that he had found at the place where Riff Raff and Magenta had thrown all of Franks stuff out) what to do. He turned the switches as coulered liquid came out. Finally, Frank's body rose.

"Hello, babies! Im back!"

* * *

 **DUM DUM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM! Omg Frank's back! What's gonna happen now? Is he still going to be like he was before? Or will he be different?**

 **Thanks to the people who support this Fanfiction, your really keeping me writing!**

 **Anyway, I'm gonna go and write more now! I might update this TWICE today!**

 **See Yaz!**

 **All haters will be used to make Human Pie!**


	5. Chapter 5

The three stood there in amazement as Frank examined the room. He climbed out of the tank and hit the white floor of the dining room, his heels rattled on the ground. He turned to Nation and Cosmo. They stood in silence until Frank moved onwards towards Bert.

"Hello Bert, how are you?" He asked calmly. Bert started to giggle and hugged Frank, who seemed disgusted at this but didn't tell him to stop.

"I am so happy that you are back!" Bert exclaimed as he let go of Frank.

"Why's that?" Frank regained his balance and stood with authority.

"You see" Bert began to explain "The Queen of Transylvania wants me to go back to Transsexual to become the next ruler!" Frank gasped and stomped off. Cosmo, Nation, and Bert all watched as he picked up the chairs and threw them about in a fit.

"I was supposed to be the next ruler of Transylvania! I was supposed to become king!" He screamed as he threw another chair towards the walls.

"That is why we have brought you back! I do not want to become the king. Now that you are back, you can take the crown!" Bert walked over to Frank, trying to make him see reason. As Frank heard this his face rose into a smug smile. He strutted over to Bert.

"Very well then. I shall become king! But first, I need two things."

"What are they?" Burt asked. Frank pointed over to Cosmo and Nation.

"I need to know who they are." He said with spite.

"We're friends of Bert." Cosmo said, "I'm Cosmo and this is my sister Nation, we're helping Bert fight the Queen."

"Ok then." Frank said, seemingly happy "My second thing is I will need my servants back alive, did you find their bodies as well as mine?"

"I did. I brought them here. There in the trunk of my car." Bert said whilst rushing off to get them.

As Bert returned with the two bodies Frank rushed over, stroking one's head and then the next. They were rotten and unidentifiable but Frank seemed assured that the machine would reanimate their flesh as well. Cosmo and Nation lifted one of the bodies into the tank as Bert prepared the liquid. When the body was in, Bert turned the switches. Colours blasted out like they had done with Frank. As all the liquid was drained, the body rose. It was Columbia.

"Where am I?" She asked. She held her hand on her head as if she had a headache. Frank strutted over.

"Good morning Columbia. Welcome back." He smiled as he helped her out of the tank. She smiled and had seemingly forgiven him for everything he had done. The next body was loaded into the tank and the procedure started all over again. This time, Rocky stepped out, his blond hair gleaming in the light. He grunted in what seemed to be happiness as Frank tried to lift him out. Cosmo had to help him in the end. Bert explained the situation to them and they all set down to formulate their plan of attack.

"Where is the Queen residing now?" Frank asked Bert.

"I don't know." He started to think "She may be on the royal flagship. That's where a crowning ceremony would take place."

"How are we going to get up there." Columbia inquired.

"We have a teleporter and one laser. Perhaps we could teleport onto the ship." Nation replied.

"To do that there would need to be a teleportation pad onboard the ship. I have never been on there so I don't know if there is one." Bert sighed in defeat.

"There are a few. I have been on the ship many times" Frank explained, "There is one in the throne room, one in the docking bay and one in the armory."

"The armory!" Bert shouted with triumph "Do you have the coordinates?"

"Yes, I do." Frank took the teleporter and entered a code.

"We can teleport to the armory, equip ourselves with weapons and fight our way to the throne room!" Cosmo slammed his fist on the table.

"Then what are we waiting for, let's go!" Frank smiled. He pressed the button on the teleporter and everyone disappeared, leaving nothing but blue smoke.

* * *

Wow! What a chapter!

Sorry, I haven't been writing for such a long time guys but I was doing tests in school and I just did a Grease play so I've been pretty busy. Sorry about that. I am back now though so I will be updating my stories a lot more.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and keep on reading.

See Yaz!

All haters will be used to make Human Pie.


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